Oh, how thee annoys me, let me count the ways:
The way you snore in my ears
(and let’s not forget the pops, the wheezes, and other sleep-shattering noises)
The way you walk on your heels
“No, that’s not an elephant stomping on the house; it’s my husband walking upstairs”
The way you procrastinate, forcing me to remind you 50 times
(I do realize it’s passive-resistance, but why don’t you just say no?)
The way you don’t listen when I speak
(or worse, when you somehow hear the opposite of what I say)
The way you keep letting the cats in the bathroom, knowing full well one eats my toothbrush
(and only mine… did you train him somehow?)
The way you “apologize”
“I’m sorry the horrible thing I have just done bothers you”
The way you go to the market for capers, and come back with peppercorn
(or the wrong kind of coffee/spice/etc… it never fails)
The way you unerringly choose the sorest spot of my anatomy to caress
(like how you just now kissed that bump on my forehead)
The way you can break a fragile heirloom just by looking it
or stain my pristine white tablecloth before even sitting down (how in the world?)
The way you never remember how to fill the dishwasher
(The emptying isn’t stellar either: no, fish forks don’t look the same as dessert forks!)
The way you stubbornly refuse to do everything MY way
(Or conveniently “forget” what my way is)
And yet, and yet… There’s also:
That sheepish grin when you’ve done something mind-bogglingly stupid/clumsy
How you look at me as if I have NOT gained 20 pounds and a dozen wrinkles
That you binge-watch Buffy with me when I need a fix
That you come outside with me so I don’t have to smoke my cigarette alone, even when it’s cold
How we can still talk and argue and laugh all evening long
How supportive you are of my writing and inordinately proud of even my most modest accomplishments
That you still tell people how we started dating and got engaged with a twinkle in your eyes
How you stay on the sunny side when we play tennis
How you come in the bedroom every morning to kiss me good day – so softly you barely wake me
How when we hug I feel that your favorite place in the world is in my arms
That you love me despite the fact that I wrote this, that you love everyone and everything I love (or at least pretend to), that you love me unselfishly and unreservedly
You are my best friend and I love you
My Happily Ever After might not be perfect, but I wouldn’t trade it for any other.
Lovely!